Change

You know how after something happens you just want to change things up? Yes, had that feeling for awhile already.

I honestly hate changes. The changes I'm referring to are something that I'm so used to and all of a sudden I have to change everything. I don't really like adapting to something new. I know I will get used to it after awhile but still, it's not the same anymore.

There are certain type of changes that I like, good changes, changes that make me a better person. I want to change my personality up a bit. Not too sure what I want to change up yet.

I do want to change this... I don't know how to please people, make them feel good. I'm not the type of person that would say something to make people happy. For example, you are dressed all nice and I like it but I would praise you inside my mind, I won't say it to you. Yea, it's just that hard for me to open my mouth and say that... If you know me, I'm not good at talking. Sometimes I feel like I'm saying the wrong things or people don't like my response. That's maybe why I don't speak much and seems like I'm socially awkward. I just want to be different. I know I'm not perfect and not trying to be.

Also, I've always wanted to be super mean and evil but I can't. Sometimes I hate being so nice, especially to people that does not deserve it!


Maybe I should stop caring so much about how others would feel, if they don't like what I say or do then that's their problem right?


I want to make more changes, chopping my hair was not enough of a change. I actually want to try curling my hair. I've always had straight hair and people envy me. I don't have to take care of it, I pretty much just wake up, comb it and leave the house. I always find curly hair a bit more mature though. "mature" style doesn't really suit me because I'm on the "cute" route. I may change up my clothing style, don't know though, maybe something even cuter lol. I want to make a big change so no-one will recognize me anymore, joking. =D I like the way I am, not gonna change too much. Like me or hate me.

I typed this in March or April, forgot.

Random moment, always hear this song at work.
Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are
"When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah.
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok"