Why I've Never Been The Girl With A Boyfriend

Ah, the post that I couldn't stop typing and slept late for. A friend sent me this post "20 Brutally Honest Reasons Why I’ve Never Been The Girl With A Boyfriend" and she wish more guys would read this (go read it!), so I'm sharing it although no one really reads my boring posts. =) I read it and totally sounds like me haha! I guess I'm not the only one but she is way younger than I am...

I thought the following points sounds like me.
1. I'm a very patient person - Yes, I'm very patient, I mean what else can I do other then being patient?

2. I don't get pressured by society - Relatives were asking me when I was in HK (but I don't care). I always tell them, fate isn't here yet. It's not as easy as people say, it's not like if I want it, it will come. If it was that easy, I would be married by now... I mean I can just pick a random guy easily but that's not what I want. Just have to let fate do it's thing. I want someone that is meant to be. I'm sure it will happen again soon. =)

3. I need genuine and unconditional love - Yea, seems very hard to find nowadays. Does it even exist anymore? I can give that to someone but will I get the same in return? I hope I can.

4. I think too much - Maybe caps "TOO".
"I guess, I don't trust people that much. And so, the guy eventually gets tired and decides to give up on me" - Yup, I'm not someone that opens up easily. It takes time, I need to feel that I can trust that person. I'm not sure how long it takes but please be patient with me. There are certain people that I can open up easily to when I meet them. I can think of lots of stuff... think about the future? Is this real? Am I dreaming? So on. Sometimes I'm a bit slow because my brain is thinking about what to say. That's why I don't talk much in person, if I'm really close to you then I'll just say whatever but I still need to think.

6. Guys tend to be intimidated by me - Uh, not intimidated but more like they don't know if they should approach? Like I'm very secretive or mysterious in a way because I don't really talk, especially to guys. Therefore, they think I'm not interested (sometimes I'm not). Guys, you just have to try harder, be brave (man up!), ask and get to know me more. I'm just a simple, normal gal.

9. I don't want to waste other people's time - Yup, I don't. Not long ago this guy asked me out but I rejected. I actually thought for awhile before giving him an answer. (If I like someone I wouldn't have to think) Friends are like why don't you go out? Maybe you'll like him after you know him more. He has good qualities (nice guy, educated, great job, his own place and car). Well, if you know me, I'm not that materialistic, although it would be nice to find someone with all those (the basic). So what if he has the whole world? I need to have that feeling, I didn't feel any. I didn't like him back in school, I don't think I would like him now. I didn't want to hurt him but I also don't want to waste his precious time. One friend actually thought I was mean not giving him a chance... Well that's life. I didn't give him a chance, people don't give me a chance. Suck it up, buttercup (me). =D I'll make it obvious if I don't like someone, eg: hit my brother's friend with a broom stick...(that was gr.8/9?) There are other stories, I don't want to share them. =)

11. I want to be with someone I'm comfortable with - Um, who doesn't? You can only be yourself when you are comfortable with someone. If I talk about random/personal stuff with you, I'm comfortable with you. I don't just tell anyone about anything.

13. I usually have a busy schedule - I do, back in the school days, I had school and work plus homework and studies. Now that I'm working, I'm busy with 2 jobs. The rest of my time I spend them with family and friends. Don't even have much time for myself. But if I like that person, I will try to find time no matter how busy I am. Busy is not an excuse! I like to ask "why do you always want to see me" or why this and that. I just want to hear the reason, I'm not stupid or trying to show I'm not interested. But honestly I don't want to see so much, I need some alone time too. =) And I really don't like going out on Saturdays because it's my only day off (unless if I take a Sunday off). =(

14. I take relationships too seriously - Yes, that's why I was so sad and hurt when I thought that person wasn't serious. Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone if they are not serious? I'm not at the age where I can play around anymore, never wanted to play around anyways. Well, I know some people just want something casual but not me. I'm looking for someone to grow old with, so don't waste my time if you are not serious and just want to play.

16. I tend to keep everything inside of me - I believe communication is very important not just in a relationship. As someone that hardly talks and don't open up easily... yes, I keep things to myself most of the time. However, I did express most of my feelings to that person (maybe it was too much?). There are also other things I did not say (too late) but most are written on this boring blog. Say what you want to say, ask what you want to ask or you'll regret.

17. I feel that I'm too difficult to love - I never thought I was but then after so many years, maybe I am difficult to love? That's why I'm still here by myself? I think I do have a "character" to me sometimes. You will know when you get to know me more, I think?

18. When I ask about love stories, people share their heartbreaks - True, when I ask my friends how are they and someone, they usually share problems that they are going through. They do tell me how happy or just ok they are. It's not always heartbreaks. Their stories don't scare me off but then I just don't understand sometimes. You know that saying in Chinese, when you don't have it, it's annoying, when you have it, it's also annoying. Yup, that's life.. totally know how it feels.

19. I believe in others’ opinions too much - Maybe cross out "too".
Uh, a bit not really, before anything started I told one of my close friend about that person, she told me to be careful. I just said I will, if you don't let me try, I'll never know. I did keep her advice in mind but not really, I'm more of  the "just enjoy the moment" type of person. I don't want to have so much stuff to worry about. I have to take risks in life and I just want to be with someone I like. However, before anything happened, her advice did make me think, to the point where I had a dream about it (obviously not a good dream), I guess it was a hint after all? My cousin also said something but after it ended. I guess she wants me to go through it myself or I won't learn? And honestly, when you like someone, you don't care what others say. I feel like a baby, everyone wants to protect me in a way but I know that's because they love me. <3

20. I waited too much - Maybe caps "TOO". Yes, I did. Maybe I missed some perfect guys from before but that just mean it wasn't meant to be. If it's meant to be, I'm sure we will be together no matter what storms or problems hit us. No point of rushing now, all my plans have been scrapped, not planning anymore, screw that. At this moment, I don't really care anymore. However, I'll keep on waiting and I'll be ready when that magic happens again. =)

Random moment, looking around Youtube and found this. Kept on repeating. Kinda wish the MV didn't have so much talking, couldn't really hear the lyrics clearly. I like the last part where Pakho said "Sorry, I don't know how to treasure you and don't deserve your love because I don't even know how to love myself." Hm...I kinda want to watch this movie "原諒他77次", I don't think I can forgive someone 77 times... Seems like there are trust issue in this movie. ><
蔡卓妍 Charlene Choi & 周柏豪 Pakho Chau《請你愛我》
"請你愛我 
將來如何 只怕錯過 (yup)　 
和你去達成美麗結果
O, will you spend your life together with me?
來和我創造動人二人故事
情人若犯錯　終可一一寬恕
一次和一輩子 仍是一聲我願意"

Oh, a friend wants it to rain on Saturday. So I hope it rains super hard on Saturday, non stop too, please. I hardly wish for it to rain but I want it to rain super hard on Saturday too. Low B does not deserve a sunny day! Have a storm too if you like, hail or thunder, or both. Thanks in advance sky.