Relieved

4/27 - So I did what my heart wanted and I don't regret a bit. I only regretted sending the first accidental message. That was honestly an accident and not my intention. I don't lie but if he thinks that was on purpose then think that way. I can't stop people from thinking.

I guess it's true, after all "天" wants me to find an answer. I guess that's why when I put "Let 天 decide for me" this whole thing happened. I'm glad it happened. I finally understand. Thank you!

I'm actually relieved that I sent the message because if I didn't I would just continue thinking "so is it really over or why did he reply?". Who knows. Never know till I try.

I'm relieved that he didn't read and didn't reply afterwards because it tells me now I can move on completely. I'm sure he read it from his notification. I didn't expect an answer anyways. He made it very clear before. Made it more clear by not reading. I got the answer that I wanted to know deep down. Thank you!

My reply may sound like I was mad but I wasn't. I'm just curious why someone who wasn't even comfortable talking things out and let everything end still cares about me. I'm happy he cared but someone should have cared long ago. Even though if it was from the heart, I don't know how true it is anymore...only he knows. Oh well, I'm happy I did it.

I'm proud of myself for being brave and have the gut to do such a thing. I told you I ain't like normal girls. When I want to do something I'm all out. Plus, I have nothing to lose. This is how I learn. I did my best. I did, I tried. 

Plus, I feel like I'm not the type of gal he is looking for... I also realized we have a 4th mutual friend. What a small world. 

5/4 - "天" loves to play with me (when does it not?). What are you trying to tell me "天"? So out of the blue... I'll take it as an accident, I wasn't being rude by not replying, no words, what does he want me to say? He can tell me himself if he really wants to, hopefully in words next time. The whole being friends thing from last week's post, it will take some time. I believe we can though. Let "天" decide for me, like it has always been.

5/9 - I thought...nevermind, I don't want to say how I feel on here anymore. If someone wants to know he can ask me. Thank you for answering my questions although I didn't really ask anything but you cleared everything for me. Thank you for considering me as a friend all along. I actually do hope we can be. I'm happy I'm on your "less than a dozen" list, at least it means I'm still your friend. I think we can be great friends, you think so? I feel like you are not gonna send me anything after that. Please do send me cool stuff that I may be interested in. Please don't ignore me if I ever have something to ask. And I'm a girl full of questions if you haven't noticed. Thank you. =)

Out of the blu, I had 2 other songs in mind but I'll keep those for Bee Blu posts. I like some lyrics from this song that goes with my feelings. "Flying Tiger" is pretty good. At first I wasn't too into it but I like it now and those guys! I want to wear those SDU uniform too, I'll look so cool! I haven't seem some of the actors for so long!

雖然這個世界 - 黃宗澤、吳卓羲

"或是對愛真不太理解

承認有時被現實淘汰

再多慨嘆始終不懂慰解 

失去了你難以調節心態 

雖然人若毫無目的但感覺愉快

總會遇上等老天去安排 (I hope)
雖然誠心的都會化解

雖然人懂得愛需經歷痛苦不快

最終也呈現疲態

這世界太奇怪(I know...)

或愛得挫敗

雖然人分開不太了解 (yea...)

依然如未來無目的但祝你愉快

早已預告等老天去安排

誰去來結上絲帶"