Trust Your Gut Next Time

When was I ever wrong? My gut and my dreams are always right, every freaking time. It always give me the right answer but I choose not to trust myself.

How many more times am I gonna go through this crap? After how many more times will I learn to trust my own gut and dreams?

When I thought everything was going so perfect, there comes a 180 change. I've always thought that I'm just thinking way too much but it's true after all. I knew it weeks ago but everyone was telling me I'm thinking too much. "If he isn't interested he won't send you stuff". I tried to trust but my gut was telling me something is wrong. Guess what, my gut was right about this guy. Why? Why did you disappoint me? You will regret for life.

After he told me about our mutual friends, I thought he would be good like them too but he made me "drop my glasses". Both of the mutual friends liked me, well one of them I think so since he treated me and he asked for my FB like right away. The other one...asked me out but I rejected. Honestly after I found out about the mutual friends I was asking the one that isn't here anymore, "is he a good person like you? Please tell me he is". I was hoping he was still around so he could tell me the answer. I also asked grandpa to tell me somehow in my dreams or something. I had a bad dream and from then I know it's not gonna be good. Every time I ask about it and I get bad dream, it doesn't turn out great. I guess they are telling me this is not the one. Well, thanks for telling me long ago but I didn't want to believe. 

Anyways, I don't deserve this. I guess I liked his kindness at first then I got caught into the trap... Even bestie don't know what I like about him and said I can do better. Have faith in yourself Cinnabun, you are a hidden gem, a gem that doesn't exist anymore. Everyone wants the best for you because they all know you deserve it all. Love will find you soon. If it fell down from the sky like magic before, it will happen again real soon. Be prepare. =)

It's time to move on! Those fishes are calling me back to the sea. They are all waiting for me to get back on the fish market. I know I'm tired but when I'm ready, those fishes will be more than happy to see me back. I know they missed me.

Love myself more, I deserve WAY better! Also time to learn to trust my own gut, it never lies.

Bestie sent me this. Thank you.

Out of the blu, for some reason I thought of this song on that day when things went wrong, right when I woke up. I thought of the lyrics, not the name of the song.
吳若希 Jinny Ng ﹣ 想起你
"時間靜了我們也靜了
抹完眼淚要記得開心的笑
雨過天清更是美多麼想有緣終於可一起
真心好比磐石堅壯
玻璃般脆弱請你輕放"