How Can I Not Think?

My gut feeling is never wrong. I feel like I have told the story already so I don't really see a good ending from this so let it be (just preparing myself for the worse). When am I ever lucky anyways?

If it's meant to be, it will. If it's not meant to be, it's not.

I may be thinking WAY too much but how can I not? (and totally not something I can control) Someone who used to reply asap doesn't even reply anymore (sometimes). Just read and ignore or don't even read at all. Someone who used to ask me lots of questions, trying to get to know me don't even ask about me anymore.

Only asks about me when someone accidentally messaged something. How can I not think? How can I not think something is fishy? How can I not think something has changed and it's different.

I feel like I'm just a back up. talk to me when you want to, ignore me when you don't need me? Just letting you know, you may lose me... (If I disappear, it's your own fault)

It's not easy for me to trust, just when I told myself to learn to trust again...all these happen.

Oh well, like bestie and manager always say "there are plenty of fishes in the sea". If this doesn't work again... I do have a few fishes waiting for me, just haven't replied any. They are probably not interested when I do reply them. But there are always new ones.

Bestie said I shouldn't focus on one person but I want to just focus on this one and see where it leads us. I can't focus on a few at a time, so not Cincin. I know I'm stupid but you have to let me learn from each fall.

I know I won't die without a guy.

However, I'm honestly tired of this, I think I need a rest if this doesn't work. Love will find me when it comes.

I hope I'm wrong but if I'm right...I hope you will regret for life, your loss, not mine. Please don't disappoint me.

Typed in March.

Out of the blu, thought some lyrics are ok for this? Not great in Chinese.
林師傑 - 騙徒
"忘記背後
嘗試接受
尋覓理由
找個方法放手
誰答應後
誰妄想以後
承諾說過
誰說話似騙徒
答應後撇撇脫脫劃定記號
人會是個問號
難免回應變得 似真 似假
迷信以後
無法接受
原諒理由
心已穿了缺口
矇騙背後
難看清以後
無法回應變得 似真 似假"