Bee Blu XXIV

I've been planning for my own future. Hopefully it will work. I have decided to rely on myself and not my future prince charming. I don't even know if he will ever appear but it's ok. I have taken prince charming out of my story. If he does appear then I'll add him in but I can't care about it anymore. There is no fairy tale in life. At least not in my life, never. As long as I can take care of myself and my family, that's all it matters at the moment.

I'm not being pessimistic, it's just that if it's not part of my life, then it's not, can't force anything. "天" doesn't want me to have one then I won't. If it's part of my life, I know he will appear but I'm not gonna wait. I need to focus on myself while he tries to find his way to me. I'm gonna prepare myself so when he finally finds his way to me, I'm ready. Hopefully he will too and won't disappoint me like those ones.

I don't know why but everytime when I'm not too happy that someone would send me something. Like that time when I wasn't happy after the second date with this dude. The first thing I saw when I looked at my phone was from him. At that point, I actually kinda miss him but so what? We are not meant to be, we are "just friends" and it will never be the same.

It's almost as if he is sending me something to remind me of him. So I'll never forget him. He message and ignore whenever he wants to, what am I? And if he doesn't want to continue the conversation after a bit then why did he even message in the first place? What does he want?

Why did he have to give up? If he didn't, what would we be like now? Suen la... Now I think of every single word that he said to me when it ended...those were quite hurtful and it showed that he didn't like me at all. If he likes me, he wouldn't say those hurtful words. I know someone out there will erase him from my mind soon. The recent dude kinda did but not really and not for long.

Interesting how my coworker and I are like e-mailing each other asking about weekend and asking about each other...

Manager was saying we may put up camera in the front. Uh...can we not!? I hate it when something or someone is watching me while I work. Manager isn't sure if it's just outside or what but they have it at head office. Please just outside! Or I'll feel super uncomfortable...like someone is watching my every step… If they do put cameras up, it will just make me hate this job more and more. Have to work even harder for my 9 year goal now. Boo hoo!

Anyways, kick boxing was weird. We feel like the instructor don't like us because we aren't getting the stuff. At one point he had to hold onto my leg and show me this kick... the guys around was looking... awkward. Other than that, it's not bad. I'm starting to sweat more so I guess I'm doing things right? Or is it just too hot?

How a 16-Year-Old Note in a Man's Wallet Helped Save His Marriage
Aww, that was so sweet. We don't exchange numbers on paper anymore, just on the phone. Why can't life be like the good old past? Everything just seem so much simpler. Sigh...

Yes, so true. Keep waiting.

Out of the blu, this song caught my attention. I think it's the music, not so much the lyrics.
On The Loose - Niall Horan
"She loves the way they all crawl back when she says
That she loves nobody else but you
She's on the loose (she's coming)

She's coming for you

Her eyes could burn down the room
So get out while you can
You don't understand
She doesn't know how to lose

She'll run with your mind and pull you in tight
Then trade you in for something new
I know what it's like, I fell for it twice
And now I'm just warning you"