Learning to Trust Again

I don't know where to start because I don't want to talk about this story just yet. I'm afraid when I say it, it's not gonna turn out great again. I have been keeping it as a secret and only 2 besties and brother know about it.

I'm happy but at the same time I'm worried and afraid. I'm afraid because it seems too good to be true again. I'm afraid this will just be like all the other ones where I'm left hurt.

I've lost trust after those bad ones, I'm always afraid. It felt a little different compared to the beginning. I guess its true...they only work hard in the beginning...but its only the beginning. 

There are more pauses which makes me think. Is it over soon? It seems like what I say or what I send isn't interesting/important anymore. There aren't as much replies or no replies at all. There aren't as much sweet talking. There aren't much good night, good morning and name calling. Should I even say as much? Am I annoying? Maybe I should stop messaging? I'm lost... I need some assurance. =(

Maybe I should step back before I go too deep?

Am I being stupid again and falling too fast when this may just be another one of those sad stories?

I honestly don't know how many times I have teared already. I'm not confident anymore after all those bad pasts.

I told myself to stop over thinking, if it happens let it happen, nothing I can do anyways.

I can only enjoy the moment where I can share my stories, feelings and everything with.

I guess all I can do now is learn to trust again, trust that someone does care, trust that someone will be there for me no matter what, trust that I am important to someone, trust that someone can sew that wound up for me and trust that something good can happen. Not everyone out there are bad. Right? I hope...

March 19/18

Out of the blu, arg, always mess up my colours!
吳若希 Jinny - 泣血薔薇
"其實真的不需安慰我的只需給我歇息
不會更絕望的　只有惡夢未停
昨日你是我的
其實真的不需擁有記憶只想洗去血跡
反正也是夢境
如若我想高興
無謂讓我甦醒
無人認領　
快樂的　想找到一些見證
幸福的　只得相裡那風景
得到的　統統不會是我的
我不再信道理
其實想愛你　欲斷不能離 "