Reality vs Cruelty

A friend wanted me to post this for her, it's my pleasure. =) To that A hole! I hope you "well".

I don’t know if I should forgive and forget, or just forget. I admit, up to this day I still haven’t gotten over you 100% and your lies, and it’s been 2 years. I may have moved on mentally but my emotions still think about you from time to time, and trust me, it hurts every single time. I don’t know why you did what you did, and you must have an explanation but you never bothered telling me the truth. I had to find out the truth the hard way, and it shattered me into pieces. I had to work really hard to pick up those broken pieces and rebuild my trust for people. 

You know what hurts me to most? The list of plans that we created TOGETHER and all those places you promised you would take me. I thought after all the time and attention I had invested, you would at least keep one of your words. I took everything you said to heart, I paid attention to your interests and hobbies. I didn’t mind taking the risk to buy some Transformers Toy off some random guy on Craigslist, just because I wanted to give you a surprise. And what did you give me in return? Nothing except lies and a broken heart. Oh of course, and when you decided to upload a picture of you and another girl, given the fact that I had asked you multiple times to take one with me and all I got was rejection. After a week you had promised me you would take me to this ice cream place after your pay cheque, you went with her instead and tagged her and even uploaded on social media. How do you think I felt? Maybe to you, we were never official so you thought it was ok to keep your options open. To me, it was against my will to focus on more than one guy. Perhaps things would have been different if I confronted you and questioned you who that girl was, but what was the point? A picture is worth a thousand words. I believe what I saw. 

Not a lot of people know about you. I only told a couple of close friends, and they’re all on my side. They know how much I did for you and how deep you had hurt me. I really liked you. I had put you before me. I’m known as a generous person, but too bad you took advantage of it. Why am I here feeling miserable for something that you did? I should be giving myself some credit to making it this far. 

Anyways, it doesn’t even matter anymore. I’d like to thank you for giving me the most memorable 3 months of my life. There were definitely more happy times than sad times. You did take good care of me when I was tipsy after clubbing. You made sure I was hydrated and that I was comfortable in the passenger seat. You took me to eat congee and buy Advil when I wasn’t feeling well. Anyone could’ve done the above things for me easily, but because it’s you, that’s what made these moments so special. And that’s why you are so hard to forget. 

I know you will never ever get to read this post, but I’m just typing this out for my own sake. And I guess this is my way of “closure”. Which by the way, is something that I very much-needed but you never gave me. You kinda just disappeared on me. I don’t know if you have anyone in your life now, but if you do, I hope you treat her well, because she’s a very lucky girl. Please don’t let her shed a tear, like how I did for you. Everything had gone to memories.